they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
