Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
