it was like his penis was on wheels.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
