Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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