do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
