rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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