I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
