I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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