I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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