This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
