Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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