they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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