My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
