A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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