Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
