I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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