Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
