It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
