those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
