1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
