I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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