I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
