Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
