before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
