something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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