I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize