so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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