I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
