The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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