your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
