she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
