He kissed a someone with a penis
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
