Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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