She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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