it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
