Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
