I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
