who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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