i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
