She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
