Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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