I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
