i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
there is glitter all over my balls
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
