He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
As shirtless as possible
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize