love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
