worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
