Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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