Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
wow bdsm is so cute
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