You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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