Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
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