More tranny stories later!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
