you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
