I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
