By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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