i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
