i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
