doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
