all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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