My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
